Saturday, August 21, 2010



Self - acceptance is an area I think that many of us struggle with.  I know that for me this has been an ongoing issue for years.  Loving myself unconditionally and learning to accept myself as I am; as a unique, beautiful woman.

I have in the past always believed that I needed to be a certain way, maintain a certain weight, have a certain look, wear certain clothing to be acceptable.
If I so much as gained a kilo I would have a panic attack and starve myself.
I just knew that if I did not have a perfect figure, I would not be loved or found attractive, which meant I would be rejected, and I couldn't take that risk.
I lived on diet pills.  Every time I looked in the mirror I would berate myself.  My self talk was so belittling of my body.  " Look at you, those thunder thighs, that bum that is still  arriving long after you have......."
I believed that I needed to be thin, very thin, in order to look attractive, be acceptable, and find my soul mate.
Even when I was anorexic I thought I was too fat! 

You do not have to like what is going on in your life, but you must accept that it, whatever  it is, is going on.
As long as you do not accept reality, you are powerless to define the role you will play.  Failure to accept reality is a denial of your power to make a conscious choice.
WHEN YOU DO NOT CHOOSE YOU LIVE BY DEFAULT! and you are a victim of circumstance.

It took me a very, very long time to accept that I had an eating disorder,  a very poor self image and  was a long way from accepting myself.
Being anorexic and sick was my reality and only once could I face and accept this truth could I begin on my journey of healing.

When you discover that something in your life is not going the way you would like it to go, nothing makes sense.  It makes you angry and afraid.  When you are angry, nothing makes sense and if you are afraid, it makes even less sense.
There comes a time in everyone's life when they must accept that nothing makes sense, BUT everything will still turn out okay when you can accept this.
ACCEPTANCE is knowing that no matter what, everything IS and and WILL be just fine.

ACCEPTANCE IS SIMPLY JUST RECOGNITION.  When you recognize a thing, you see it for what it is.  All of our experiences, no matter how awful they appear to be, are temporary.  Acceptance of an experience as a temporary situation can make it a lot easier to handle.  It does not mean you will not be temporarily angry, frightened or senseless.  It just means that you will be able to handle something in a calmer manner when you know it is a temporary situation.

ACCEPTANCE is also an express ticket out of fear and anger.  It takes you from where you are to where you want to be without stopping in every little hick town of negative emotion.  
I live by this as often as I can.  When I find myself in a situation that is overwhelming, or I am anxious, afraid, insecure, I accept the situation, and often look beyond to what the worse case scenario is for my reason of anxiety. When I can accept that, I find that the anxiety, the fear, the worry dissipates and I have nothing to fear.  99% worst case scenario never eventuates thank goodness!

Accepting a thing, does not mean you approve of what is going on, nor does it mean you are being impacted by what is going on,  Acceptance means you are able to withdraw the EMOTIONAL ATTACHMENT just long enough to really see what is happening.


This is an act of courage.
I had to stand naked in front of the mirror in all my anorexic glory or so I thought and emotionally detach myself from myself.  It is only then, that I saw the horror of what my body truly looked like, emancipated.  I saw a girl, not a woman who was starving herself, abusing herself, self sabotaging, all in the name of love.  To be loved and accepted meant that I needed to begin with myself first.  This was and has been sooooo hard.

When you accept the reality of your life, thereby demonstrating your willingness to make a conscious choice, you honor the wisdom, strength, and tenacity of the divine spirit within you.
When you accept the reality of the choices others have made, realizing, although you may not like what is going on, that you have the strength and the courage to live through it, you honor the right of others to choose without blaming them for our wounds.

You don't like ants at your picnic, but you don't turn the entire park over to them, do you?  You accept that the ants have just as much right to be in the park as you do, and you take the necessary precautions to keep them out of your potato salad!

ACCEPTANCE is like knowing there will be ants at the picnic.  It is acknowledgment that there are needs and circumstances other than your own.
By making this acknowledgment you are empowered to develop a strategy for your protection without stepping on the needs of others.

Without the emotional charge of anger, fear, and victimization, it is easy to accept the reality of your life.
By accepting what is, you become keenly aware of what isn't.

ACCEPTANCE also requires a great deal of  TRUST and even more PATIENCE.
You must trust yourself enough to know that you will make the right choices.
You must trust that the universe will provide you with every single thing you need in order to accomplish what you set out to do.
You must accept that what you want to do may not be an easy task, which means you must be patient with yourself.
Be patient when you get angry or afraid.
Every time I stood on the scales and had gained a kilo, I had to accept that this was perfect for me, that my body was restoring itself and would reach a healthy goal weight that would be just right and I needn't be afraid. 
 I was not where I was, and not where I wanted to be, but I was on my way..... 

Be patient when you are tempted to lie to yourself and not accept the truth. Be patient when it seems things are not going right and may never be right again.
Accept that what is yours will come to you in the right way at just the right moment.
Patiently acknowledging and accepting that what is not for you, is not for you, no matter what you choose to tell yourself.
Ants do not get discouraged when they climb onto the picnic table, only to discover that all your goodies are covered with glad wrap and netting.  They crawl back  and patiently wait around the table legs until you drop your plate!  


ACCEPTANCE is a sign of courage.
ACCEPTANCE empowers me to make a conscious choice.
ACCEPTANCE of what is does not meant liking it as it is.
Choosing in fear is not ACCEPTANCE.
Choosing in anger is not ACCEPTANCE.
ACCEPTANCE requires that I trust myself and the Divine within me.
ACCEPTANCE requires that I be patient with myself, and the process of life.


After reading today's blog, I realize......................................................

( Mine says,  "As long as I do not accept reality I am powerless to define the role I will play in life )

The key phrase(s) I want to remember and work with today are...........................................................................................

( Mine says, " When I do not choose I live by default and become a victim of circumstances!)

Today, I realize that I resist ACCEPTING reality when.......................................................................................

Today, I was able to ACCEPT that I...............................................................................................

I am now willing to ACCEPT is not...........................................................................................

I hope that today blog will serve you well.

I am  a healthy, curvaceous, beautiful woman, who loves my body and accepts every dimple, every roll, every flaw, every age spot, with love and self acceptance........BUT it has taken patience, self love, time, positive self talk, trust and ACCEPTANCE.

Much love Melanie xx


  1. Just stopped by for some healing thoughts. You are awesome Melanie, and always know the right thing to say ( or type, or comment etc etc). Thanks
    Jo x

  2. This is, by far, the most difficult task you've assigned so far. Logically I "get it" and totally agree. Emotionally I still have a LONG way to go and a LOT of work to do in this area. Thank you, as always, for the reminder. :)

  3. Another wonderful blog post, Melanie. It has taken me a very long time to come to some of these same conclusions, and found that my ideas of what and how I am may NOT always coincide with what others think should be, and that's okay! Love you! <3