I have been meaning to continue with "IN THE MEANTIME" however, in the meantime I have been snowed under with all sorts of challenges. This morning I was reviewing this stage in my own life, having previously worked through it. I think it is time I revisited it for myself and hope that it will help you. I opened the fridge this morning and ................
WHAT IS THAT SMELL?!!!!! IT'S HORRIBLE!
Has it dawned on you that the only time you smell it is when you open the refrigerator?
Something is rotten in the Kelvinator honey!!
The problem is you don't have a clue what it could be. It could be that green stuff in the bowl or the brown stuff in the foil. Perhaps it's that fuzzy pink stuff that was once red and is now fermenting on the side of the vegetable crisper.
Don't you just hate it - cleaning out the refrigerator. It is a very nasty and time consuming chore.
You've been putting it off for days, no weeks, and so has everyone else.
Why are you the one who gets stuck doing the dirty work anyhow?
Now you have to do it because everyone knows there is a problem. Something stinks!
Every time you open that door, everybody, including company, knows that there is something very nasty and foul growing in your midst. Well, you can't put it off any longer. Thank goodness the same is not true about the laundry! At least you can hide that..........
But why? Why do we let it pile up? Whether it's the laundry or an issue in a relationship, it would be so much easier if we deal with a little at a time. We promise ourselves, every time we stand before the mammoth pile, or have a heated argument, that we'll do it that way, a little a time, instead of letting it pile up and overwhelm you.
Liar! Liar! pants on fire, your dirty pants are on fire , all twelve bags of them! Even those you tried to hide in the bottom of the closet are on fire.
DON'T YOU KNOW BY NOW THAT THE LONGER YOU PUT SOMETHING OFF, THE WORSE IT GETS!!!
Eventually the foul smell will seep into everything, or the bag will burst, spilling all of your soiled undies into the middle of the floor, or pent up anger will lead to an argument. Whether it's the fridge, the laundry, or little issues turning into fuzz on your relationships, TAKE CARE OF IT NOW! Before you get or hurt!
WHO ATE THE CAKE I LEFT IN THE FRIDGE??
I know you know this, but I feel compelled to remind you again THAT THE LONGER YOU PUT SOMETHING OFF, THE WORSE IT WILL BECOME, the harder it will be to do what you need to do, say what you need to say. How many times have you put off cleaning the refrigerator until the foul smell choked you, or let the laundry pile up to the point that you have had to go out and buy underwear or wear your husbands boxes!! ( don't laugh I have done this!!)
We know, but we don't do. We want, but we can't. We see it, but we turn our heads.
Nowhere in our lives does this kind of avoidance have a more devastating effect than in our
relationships. When something goes rotten in a relationship the smell rises pretty quickly.. If we do not deal with it immediately, dealing with it becomes a difficult task, a miserable chore we would definitely rather not do. But do it we must!
LOVE CONQUERS ALL, RIGHT? WRONG! Love cannot work through dishonesty, denial, fear, or people pleasing. It is physically impossible for two things to occupy the same space at the same time.
Where there is fear, love cannot abide. When there is overt dishonesty, out-and-out lying, hiding, and denial, love cannot be.
We have to open that refrigerator, detect the foul odor and begin sifting through the many things stuffed into bags and bowls, and boxes to find the culprit. You know that when you put the stuff in the refrigerator it was all good, now you have to figure out and try to identify what went bad, to figure out how you forgot that you had bought this, why you never served the remainder of that, and what that oozing green stuff is that's dripping down the door. You have to stick your hands into things you can no longer identify, you must clean out the soiled dishes, you must pack the trash up and put it outside. Then you remember that trash day is not until four days from now.
That's what happens in our relationships. WE LET THINGS GO BAD, WHEN WE REFUSE TO DO THE JOB A LITTLE AT A TIME, WHEN WE LEAVE THINGS UNSAID AND UNDONE, THE FOUL SMELL WILL LINGER!!!
You also can't expect someone else to do the job that you know you need to do!
Nothing is more common IN THE MEANTIME, than expecting or demanding that a person do what we already know they will not or are incapable of doing. It is the pattern by which we set ourselves up to be hurt!
Often party number one expects party number two to do what party number one wanted him to do, like clean out the fridge....It's called FALSE EXPECTATIONS.
When you are cleaning out the refrigerator of your life, you need to know what you are looking at, and know what to do about what you see.................
We will continue with "KNOW WHAT YOU ARE LOOKING" AT AT OUR NEXT POSTING.
I do hope that this analogy of using the refrigerator has helped you and that you can relate to it and that this week you will take up the challenge and begin to clean out your fridge.
Love Melanie x